


世界变了 还是我改变了

by 10cm



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:34:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10cm/pseuds/10cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(has the world changed, or have i changed)</p>
            </blockquote>





	世界变了 还是我改变了

the first time sunggyu sees woohyun it’s like sparks explode between their bodies. or like rubbing two surfaces together until heat builds between them. sometimes, sunggyu thinks that might be an exaggeration. then he thinks back to how he had wanted, to the very core of his being, to memorize the line of woohyun’s throat with his teeth, and thinks it’s probably not an exaggeration after all. woohyun had been beautiful then. he’s still beautiful now.

this is your new roommate, the manager explains. you’re going to train together.

woohyun’s smile is excitement with an edge. he looks at sunggyu, and his eyes are very dark. sunggyu wonders if maybe woohyun knew what sunggyu was thinking, about his teeth and woohyun’s throat. “nam woohyun,” he says, putting a hand out to shake.

“kim sunggyu,” sunggyu says, half-bowing. when they shake hands, woohyun’s lingers a little longer, and that night sunggyu still feels the electric trails of fingertips against his palm. remembers it when he wakes up early and jerks off in the bathroom to the memory of strong jawline, strong hands.

this is the problem: woohyun makes it hard to be alone. it’s excusable, because they’re training together, but to sunggyu’s hyperaware nerves he is always there. always “hyung, do you want water?” “hyung, does your knee hurt?” “hyung, are you okay?”

“of course i’m okay,” sunggyu says. “i don’t look okay?”

“not that,” woohyun says. his arms are crossed over his chest. under his gaze, sunggyu feels very exposed. these are the kind of eyes that woohyun has: piercing, unrelenting. “just, when you dance, you never smile.”

sunggyu had never thought about it. but when he had dances again, just training routines to make his muscles learn, he sees that it’s true. he doesn’t smile because there’s always something to fix. if there’s something to fix, what’s the good of smiling?

dancing with woohyun is a distraction, too. he isn’t ready to be vulnerable. dancing with someone else, in perfect synchronization, takes trust; sunggyu isn’t sure he can give that. he’s used to dancing alone, and dancing with another person is strange. sometimes he catches a glimpse of woohyun out of the corner of his eye. woohyun always knows what his body is doing, and that kind of grace leaves an impression on sunggyu.

this is the other problem: that the sparks between them haven’t faded. not with the passing of time. not when sunggyu dances until he literally can’t. even then he catches sight of the way woohyun’s body moves and feels warmth below his breastbone. and woohyun seems to know. there’s a strange tension between them, almost tangible, that makes the air heavy and hard to breathe whenever woohyun walks into the room.

“hyung, you’ll have to stop avoiding me someday,” woohyun says once, when they’ve collapsed into their beds in the dark of early morning. “if we’re going to debut together we have to work together.”

sunggyu rolls over, meets woohyun’s eyes in the dark. there is a thin beam of streetlight shining through their window; it paints a stripe over woohyun’s nose and lips, and the corner of one of his eyes. even in the darkness, his eyes are very bright. sunggyu sometimes underestimates how breathless woohyun can make him. “i’m not avoiding you.”

“don’t lie.”

woohyun doesn’t drop his gaze, but sunggyu does.

the next week, sunggyu escapes into the dance studio at two in the morning and dances until his hair sticks to his cheeks. he dances through every song on his practice playlist twice, then leans against the mirror. his breath fogs up the glass. he doesn’t see woohyun until woohyun is right behind him.

woohyun comes up behind sunggyu and wraps his arms around sunggyu’s middle and puts his chin on sunggyu’s shoulder, right in the place where his neck curves down. “still avoiding me,” he says. sunggyu can feel the whisper of woohyun’s breath over his cheek.

problematic.

“i’m not avoiding you,” sunggyu says. he squirms a little, trying to get woohyun to let go. “what are you doing?”

“holding you down,” woohyun replies. “it’s pretty hard to get you in one place, hyung.”

the sparks between them are heat now, and the heat is almost unbearable. sunggyu can feel a blush rising on the back of his neck. “woohyun,” he says. he means for his voice to be chastising. instead it just comes out trembling. “stop it.”

“you’re scared,” woohyun says. “why are you scared of me, hyung?”

it feels sort of like woohyun has reached into his chest and wrapped his hand around sunggyu’s beating heart. one, two. “i’m not scared,” sunggyu says. “let me go.”

“you never open up to me.” woohyun’s hand presses flat against his stomach. there is no pressure, but its presence is enough. if you create enough sparks, one will eventually become flame. “and you don’t trust me when we’re dancing. i noticed it, hyung, you always put me in your line of sight so you can watch what i’m doing. if i’m behind you, you can’t dance.” this is true. “i’m not going to let you down, hyung.”

who had given nam woohyun permission to unravel sunggyu’s insecurities? sunggyu hadn’t. he turns around in the circle of woohyun’s arms, and finds that they’re very close. he can count woohyun’s eyelashes (woohyun’s eyes are beautiful). “i didn’t ask for you to do this,” he says, one hand fisted in the front of woohyun’s shirt.

“no,” woohyun says. his voice is very steady. “you didn’t ask. but you needed me to.”

sunggyu doesn’t really remember how it happens, exactly. he remembers nuances more than he remembers specifics. but he lets woohyun fuck him against the mirror, his fingers seeking purchase against the smooth glass. woohyun’s hands on his hips will leave bruises in the morning, and that’s fine. it’s all fine. woohyun meets sunggyu’s gaze in the reflection and holds it, holds him immobile. holds him frozen. woohyun takes sunggyu very carefully apart.

sunggyu doesn’t regret it.

(well, he regrets it a little bit, but only when dancing the next day is made very difficult by persistent soreness. woohyun won’t stop laughing. sunggyu plans to get his revenge.)

so years later on sesame player, when he says “i disliked you at first, when we first met,” he watches woohyun recoil and thinks, that’s not what i mean at all. what he means is, he had loved woohyun when they first met. he had loved woohyun and he had found that woohyun could (would) deconstruct him thoroughly, and he hadn’t been ready. but all of that emotion needed somewhere to go, because sunggyu didn’t have space inside. and so he had disliked woohyun. it didn’t make sense then. it still doesn’t make sense now.

but woohyun hadn’t allowed that. in the end, he had walked right up to sunggyu’s carefully-built walls and tapped them with a fingertip and watched them crumble into mortar dust.

later that night, sunggyu tells the curve of woohyun’s hip that “of course i didn’t really dislike you, idiot nam woo.”

“then what was that about?”

“i told you. now i trust you more than anybody.” woohyun has to know that’s true. there’s not a single other person that sunggyu would allow to see him like this, tired, stripped down, raw. never mind the nakedness.

“but you disliked me before.”

“i didn’t like that you could figure me out better than anyone else.” sunggyu lets his teeth scrape against the rise of iliac crest and very much enjoys the resulting shiver. woohyun’s body is very honest. “i didn’t like that you could do it without even trying. it didn’t seem fair.”

woohyun gasps out something like a laugh. he grabs sunggyu by the scruff of his neck to haul him to eye level. “i tried,” he says, smiling against the curve of sunggyu’s lower lip. “i tried really hard.”

“tried what?”

“to get you to like me.” woohyun’s hands are very warm through sunggyu’s t-shirt. his thumbs are rubbing slow circles against the small of sunggyu’s back. it’s very distracting. “to get you to open up and trust me. i tried really hard for that, actually.”

bit by bit, sunggyu relaxes against woohyun. a little bit of the tension leaks out of his muscles, one by one. “well, congratulations,” sunggyu says, embarrassed, his mouth pressed to woohyun’s jaw. “you won.”

“it wasn’t really a game,” woohyun replies. “but thanks anyway.”


End file.
